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Crackhead Joe's

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Crackhead Joe's
Crackhead Joe's in Peripotamia.png
Crackhead Joe's in Peripotamia
Founderdaltdisneyland
Date founded2018
Corporate structure
Current owner(s)daltdisneyland
Locations
No. of locations8

Crackhead Joe's is a gas station and convenience store franchise founded and owned by daltdisneyland. Most locations are gas stations, but some are convenience stores only due to location limitations.

The franchises' central promise is to "deliver a clean bathroom for your road trip".

History

Crackhead Joe's was initially created during a game of Bare Essentials in 2018, where the challenge was to build a gas station. Due to the humorous description, daltdisneyland advanced to a tiebreaker build-off round against megascatterbomb who built a more traditional gas station. Since then, the franchise has been referenced several in Bare Essentials: in the tiebreaker round, daltdisneyland built "Crackhead Joe's Secret Crack Barn" and in a game on July 26, 2019, daltdisneyland built as a barn a scene called "toto i dont think we're in kansas anymore", featuring a barn in an alternate universe where Crackhead Joe farmed humans to somehow create the oil for his gas stations. Coincidentally, the meme description also allowed daltdisneyland to advance to a tiebreaker build-off round against someone who successfully completed the first challenge. In a game requiring participants to build a courthouse, daltdisneyland built a scene titled "The Trial of Crackhead Joe" where Crackhead Joe was put on trial for alleged crimes against humanity. This build won daltdisneyland the game. In a 2020 game, participants were required once again to build a gas station, and several builds were inspired by the Crackhead Joe's franchise. daltdisneyland built "Crackhead Jack's Crazy 80's Gas Station," a 1980s themed gas station owned by an unknown relative to Crackhead Joe. KittyCat11231 built "Methhead Martha's" which won the round.

One day while flying around in Peripotamia, daltdisneyland requested to add a Crackhead Joe's in Peripotamia, and Cookie46910 agreed, being the franchise's first location on the New World.

Locations

Crackhead Joe's are currently located in:

  • Peripotamia: The original New World location of Crackhead Joe's. A location of the spinoff "Crackhead Jack's Crazy 80s Gas Station" was slated to be built as well but was never completed.
  • Hummingbird Islands: The Crackhead Joe's can be found on the top floor of the Sky mall. While it is mainly just a convenience store, it has one pump of gas that fuels the Hawaiian Shave Ice truck next to it.
  • Sunshine Coast: The Crackhead Joe's is located in the Palm Valley area near the center of the Sea Pickle epidemic.
  • Segav Sal: A Crackhead Joe's is located in the entrance area to the IntraRail station. Some gas pumps are located inside; however, due to walls, it is not advised to drive your car up to them. Instead, customers are suggested to purchase the fuel and put it in a Ziploc baggie and transfer the fuel to their car.
  • Rank Resort: Crackhead Joe's can be found in Rank Resort Central IntraRail station. Due to the rainbow nature of the station, it was dubbed the "gayest location yet" complete with the first gender-neutral bathroom.
  • Tranquil Forest: A Crackhead Joe's is built into a mountain. It is the only two-story Crackhead Joe's to date.
  • Konawa and Lanark: Crackhead Joe's can be found inside of an AstroSlurp location inside Horizon National Airport.
  • Dand: A special crossover event between Crackhead Joe's and Potoe and Chicke can be found here. It is the most expensive iteration of Crackhead Joe's to be sold.

Products

Crackhead Joe's sells several products that vary based on location. In the Peripotamia, Hummingbird Islands, and Sunshine Coast locations, junk food is sold. The Sunshine Coast location features a Boujie Items section so that it can receive customers from the nice suburban area it is located in. The Segav Sal location only sells Sea Pickles due to a delivery mix-up that was supposed to be shipped to Sunshine Coast.

Gas prices vary based on gas type: regular, decaf, or premium. Prices may vary by location due to oil shipment prices. Some gas pumps have been labeled with "Buy crack!". However, the company has insisted that it is a typo. Gas pumps at Crackhead Joe's are notorious for being out of order. The company has advised customers to "spam the Discord react :ordah: at it".